Vagina Monologues

Today, on my brother's 18th birthday, I did my first vaginal delivery!
And I didn't drop the baby!
This being the most important instruction given to us for obstetrics...
(and you don't realize what a real possibility it is until you are there seeing the wiggling slimy baby come out in a rapid gush of fluid).
And I must add that seeing these vaginal deliveries is making me very nervous to have a baby myself. I think I am definitely going with the epidural!

Since being on OB/Gyn...conversations around me have been rather interesting. Including very fervent shouts of joy by the attendings when a wife reports her husband has gotten a vasectomy...in the indigent population we deal with in Houston, this is apparently a rare occurrence.

One such conversation around my house that still has me laughing almost 4 weeks later went like this:
Jake: "So Erin, how many vagina's do you think you've seen this week?"
Erin: "Oh probably close to a hundred."
Other guy who works in finance whose fiance is standing next to him "Wow, really? That's more than I've seen."
Erin: "I would hope so...by A LOT!"

Now for Jake's perspective on this rotation...I think he has learned far more than he ever wanted to know about female health issues.

First off - I just want to say that I have nothing but respect and admiration for all the ladies out there who have hosted human beings inside their bodies and brought them into the world. You are all tough cookies... so thanks Mom.

Erin's rotation has been a hot topic whenever we have friends over - she has a pregnancy wheel that you can use to determine date of conception and date of birth based on certain milestone events. Lately our friends have been trying to determine just what exactly was going on with their parents way back when.... one of our friends discovered that his parents liked to ring in Thanksgiving Day with a very special celebration. As for me - I prefer to think I was conceived in a test-tube. Please allow me to remain in my ignorance.

Being around medical students all the time I've long since perfected the art of staring off in the distance and zoning out (JD style - like on Scrubs). Conversations tend to go places.... dark places that I don't like to visit. This Friday night there was a mixer at Berryhill Baja Grill for first year med students - we went a little late and picked up our friend Lori (also a 4th year med student) on the way.

So we're sitting there eating tamales and the conversation naturally turns to labor and delivery.... which is my cue to slip into a coma. It's not that I'm not interested... it's just that medical people speak in code.... something about a woman who was G7, and P6 - I knew we weren't playing bingo so I just tried to watch the Astros game craning my neck to see over adjacent booths. But some things simply can't be ignored.... Lori and Erin started discussing medical Spanish... specifically terms for liquids a woman might pass... you know... downstairs....

We weren't in an airplane so there were no vomit bags available and I tried to disengage my mind and find a happy place - but the content of their conversation was the verbal equivalent of a train wreck.... you don't want to look... but you can't stop staring.

Fortunately the conversation ended on a note that I could identify with... they were discussing patients recovering from C-Sections and the questions they'd have to ask them in the morning to determine if their bodies were functioning properly so they could discharge them....

As I dipped my chip in some queso trying to see the score of the game and begging my ears not to listen, Erin asks: What's Spanish for 'Have you passed gas this morning?'

Girls are gross.