Blog readers: feel free to give your comments a clever title composed of song lyrics etc.
A lot is going on right now that I'm not sure how to deal with...... I found out (while reading Lazlo the Destroyer's blog www.dannysmixingdesk.blogspot.com) that Summit - as a church - is no longer meeting.... Clint's going to work on a Saturday night discussion group which I think will be really fruitful and a great opportunity to get people thinking about what they believe and why they believe it..... and I'm sure that will rule - but it's really weird to me to think about the fact that my church - Summit isn't around anymore. That's where I grew up as a christian (and where I came to faith for that matter) and it's really hard for me to think that I'll come back to SLC to visit and I won't be able to go hear my pastor speak - 'cause our church doesn't meet anymore....
I've also been on a journey for several months now of trying to break out of a rut and rediscover grace..... I'm a scientist - and my mind is wired to ask questions and to want to know answers about everything...... I can't be satisfied with surface answers I want to dig deep and try to figure things out... and since I came into the realization of Christ I've really been passionate about knowing the Word. In God's forebearance He allowed me a ministry where I could speak about God and His passions revealed in His Word... I was able to counsel and be counseled by all sorts of people in that time - and through it something in me lay dormant... staved off by all the people who I'd grown to care about: take a misanthrope - remove his heart of stone and place him in Gospel ministry and that's what happens.....
But as I've moved to TX (where the worm dieth not.... nor the roach apparently) and been removed from that ministry - something new has come up silently at first competing for my affections - a master I once knew well and loved. Through gracious rebuke and the illumination of the Holy Spirit I've been able to see more and more how much I love being under the law. Maybe it's an: if it's too good to be true it probably isn't sort of thing but I've been running from grace back into the arms of my tutor - unable to accept the lessons he was left in charge to teach me. But - as the Supertones say - I'm back in the game to even the score....
So I've been proactive as of late to surround myself around people of grace - which is more of a stumbling block for me than you might think.... I have this issue of wanting to analyze whatever situation I'm in..... so if I'm in a church I'm thinking about the issues of worship and the spoken word and how the sacrament is presented etc..... and I really have to fight off all these prideful things in my mind just to allow myself to be ministered to by those with a childlike faith. I taking a vacation from Owen so I can read some Nee....... Erin and I have been checking out Ecclesia on Sunday nights - and the whole assembly really reminds me of Summit when we were at the Coffee House - before there was like 70 people attending.... back when there were 20 people who met in an unfinished room to worship together..... I remember that the people I met there were really about living out grace and having grace for others.... and when I look around on Sunday nights - those are the people I see..... they're Main Street Coffee kind of people - and I really long for that right now........
So I'm requesting a ticket on the John Elliot spiritual journey train - room for one more?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Welcome aboard Jake. Of course you and I both know that you have been on this train since you came to faith. As an engineer, I have very much the same mind set that you do as a scientist. I often long for the confidence as assurance in my faith that some of my more artistically minded friends have. I know God wants us to question and dig deep, but he also wants us to have a child like faith. I'm not sure how exactly to acheive that balance. No real answers here (though you already know the most important answers). I'll be praying for you.
grace,
JE
"Maybe it's an: if it's too good to be true it probably isn't sort of thing but I've been running from grace back into the arms of my tutor - unable to accept the lessons he was left in charge to teach me."
Well put. Grace is hard to accept, because it is so completely "other" than our experience as humans. It's literally the complete reverse of how the world operates. The phrase: "Here you go, it's free" is what we all want, and yet our minds short-circuit when we actually face the prospect of getting it.
We recognize our tutor. We know how to make him happy, how to cheat him, and how to find his limits. He behaves like us, looks like us, and operates like us. God, on the other hand...
"You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer ... Helter Skelter ..." (and so on)
Sorry, but you requested a lyric & that just jumped up from the crowd like some kind of hefty 3rd row 'sista' at the revival meetin' -- of course for you it's the Motley Crue cover that I intend here rather than the Beatles original.
I apologize for the sudden weirdness of the feeling that something here in SLC has vanished, so to speak. Understand that in our neck of the woods summertime is always a vanishing act across the board, & this summer was maybe the worst yet.
But the truth is that we all fight constant border skirmishes against seemingly small-time but nevertheless threatening foes. You mentioned the ever-looming temption toward legalism & hyper-analysis. I fight against feelings of self-created tradition/ritual that have perhaps long ceased to accomplish legitimate kingdom ends. Thus I'm a creature in flux too often, the proverbial river you can never step into twice for it will have changed (a nod to Heraclitus).
As for you & John (and let's throw in the Destroyer for that matter) & all such analytically minded, I offer this word: the big hall of super-saints is full of your kind. Sure John (the apostle, not the engineer-crooner) was a lover-poet type, but it seems to me that Luke was a rigid historian, etc. Just look at early church guys like Origen (some 6000+ writings on apologetics, biblical exegesis, polemics, & plenty more), later there's Aquinas & others who are almost analytical to a fault.
Today there are numerous qualified, legit scientists who practice their trade for the glory of God & bring their way of thinking to theological questions with unique perspective.
For crying out loud, the most infamous 20th Cent. atheist Antony Flew made his dramatic turnabout based NOT on poetic, philosophical or moral reasons, but because the information-rich universe convinced him finally that at the most tiny (for lack of a better word) level there was too much specific 'code' crying out for a programmer.
Perhaps appropriately from Simply Red's album " LIFE "
All eyes were closed, nobody knows
How the world wasn't able to see
that they were washed-up failures
My eyes are open, my love is strong
I am here to stay and it will always be that way
We're in this together
We're in this together Forever Together
My line is long, my soul it rolls
Somewhere on the train of universal feeling
My eyes are open, just like the ocean
From the people in need to the sun and the seas
We're in this together
We're in this together Forever
Together Forever
We're in this together
We're in this together Forever
Together Forever
Together
John and Jake have expressed what is hopefully, in many of our hearts that: Lord, we want to be on that train !
One of the places where a ticket can be found for that train is in Matthew 25-30 where it says:
" At that time Jesus said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of Heaven and Earth !!..because you have hidden these things from the wise and intelligent and revealed them to little ones. Yes, Father ! for this was your gracious will. All things have been given to me from my Father. No one know the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son decides to reveal him." "Come to me ! all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke on you and "learn from me" because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls....for my yoke is easy to bear, and my load is not hard to carry."
Post a Comment