Sunday, April 03, 2011

The Randomness of Jake....

Oh Reader.....

It's been awhile since we last talked.... you know... really talked. A lot of things have changed for me recently. I got the new iPad (which I'm blogging from currently). I got paid on the 7th, and the iPad 2 was released on the 11th.... I don't believe in coincidence... so I took it as a sign that I should purchase it. (At this point, it would be appropriate to begin praying for my wife.) I'm not entirely certain that Erin shared this vision, but I'd like to think this device has enriched our marriage, and I'm sure that the benefit of hindsight will convince her of the wisdom of my seemingly capricious purchasing decisions.

As you may have noted from prior blogs, Erin went to Africa for 5 weeks. During that time, I went to India for 10 days (didn't get sick!), came back for a week, and then went to Africa for 10 days to visit her.

India was crazy intense. I remember being in Rio, standing near the richest mall in South America which basically runs up to the favelas (the poorest part of Rio), and thinking how strange it was to find those things juxtaposed. Well that was India except in mind-blowing proportions. Mumbai is the location of the most expensive residence on the planet (a billion dollar home) that overlooks the largest slum in the city. I was sitting on a bus on the way back to a hotel and was struck by a man sitting on the side of the street (Indian-style ironically)in front of a marquee. He appeared to be suffering from some sort of physically debilitating condition, and as he stared off through my bus into the distance, I realized that he was all alone. It's quite striking to be in a country that hosts a billion + people, in a city of tens of millions and to find yourself completely alone. India was a beautiful and devastating experience for me....

Africa was a different sort of crazy. I got the opportunity to travel with Erin and 3 other (female) doctors. Now, I'm a pretty good sport, and I'm on record as having a fondness for Gilmore Girls, shopping, and plucking my eyebrows.... but things start getting a little crazy after ten days in Africa as the lone dude with a four-pack of lady doctors (by which I mean doctors who are female... as opposed to obstetricians/gynecologists.... just for clarity, all four doctors are pediatricians).

We started our journey by traveling to Kruger - a game reserve that covers a big chunk of NE South Africa. Our guide was a really nice dude who had the most curious idiosyncrasies. For instance:
1) He was able to spot the most minute details while driving our safari vehicle. He would stop on a dime to point out the world's smallest tortoise crossing the street (like less than 4 inches across... small). He pointed out fresh rhino markings, and other a sundry curiosities.
2) Our guide/driver's proficiency in spotting small things was somewhat overmatched by his inability to spot very large things.... like Elephants. I mean, who doesn't love a midget turtle? But seriously... when on safari, one would like to see big animals like elephants.
3) Our driver was a fit young (early 20's) dude who had worked all sorts of interesting jobs -something about putting dead fish in the water to draw sharks to those 'dive with the sharks in a tank' attractions off Capetown.
4) He also had the most spectacular combination widow's peak uni-brow that I have ever witnessed. I mean, his uni-brow itself had a widow's peak.... it was glorious... like the South African equivalent of a really awesome mullet... it spoke deep things to my soul, and I'm ever-so-thankful for witnessing it.

In other news (no particular order):
Erin decided to re-pot all sorts of plants which means I was stabbed by multiple succulents.
Battlecat (who has taken up residence perching Snoopy style on top of our couch) pawed me in the face and gave me a very cool... but very temporary scar.
I started a new gig at Chevron.
Erin started night shifts in the pediatric ER. I'd like to punch night shifts in the face... but the physical embodiment of night shifts remains elusive.... you've been warned night shift.
Nate Dogg died.
Erin went to DC
I went to CA
We both went to Boston
We saw a dude wearing a Wayne's World hat on the train.
In Boston I wore dress shoes as I had some meetings to attend.... it was sleeting all evening and through the next morning so my shoes got soaked. At that airport I took off my drenched shoes to go through security, when I tried to put them back on I realized that taking them off had shredded the insoles... and i had to throw them away. I feel like this incident justifies the shoe shopping I did the week prior... in fact, I now consider my shoe shopping to be prophetic.... and now I'm wondering if my laptop is going to explode because I bought an iPad...

I'm officially done with all coursework at the end of this month. At which time I plan to read more, spend time with humans, and start a non-profit group to send tweezers to South Africa.